Holy Matrimony 2
by Jessica R Vance
Summary: This is just your basic "Jessie impersonates Jessiebelle" fic. It's not good, really. But read it if you want.


Holy Matrimony 2  
  
By: Jessica R Vance  
  
Rating: B for BAD!  
  
Summary: Just another one of those "Jessie is Jessiebelle and they get married" fics.  
  
Disclaimer: NO!!! I DON'T!!!  
  
Feedback: Yes, tell me how bad it is. JessicaVance@lovelornpoet.com But don't tell me it's horrible and not tell me why. I know it's bad, I just can't figure out exactly what's wrong with it. Later!  
  
Holy Matrimony 2  
  
Jessie and James were walking down the road. Meowth wasn't with them, because he had caught a rare Pokemon while they weren't looking and the Boss had made him Top Cat again. Now they had no one to make their plans for them. That meant that they would have to do it for themselves! Oh, dear!  
  
"Well, what are we going to do now, Jessie?" James said.  
  
"I don't know. Let me think." Jessie snapped. Suddenly, a girl stepped out onto the road in front of them. She had auburn hair and light brown eyes.   
  
"Sounds like you two have a little problem," she said, smirking.  
  
"Who are you?" Jessie said.   
  
"My name's Acacia," the girl said. "And I'm a big fan of you two. I think I can help you."  
  
"How?" James inquired.  
  
"I have a plan… involving our inheritance." Acacia said, pointing to James. "Wanna hear it?"  
  
They nodded eagerly. Tell Team Rocket that they'll get money for it, and they'll do just about anything. Just about.  
  
"OK, here goes: Jessie, you have to dress up like and impersonate Jessiebelle."  
  
"WHAT!?" Jessie exploded. She looked at Acacia like she was crazy. "Are you insane!? I'd never dress up like that wimp!"  
  
"Calm down, Jess." Acacia said calmly. "Listen to what I have to say. Now, if I remember correctly, you suggested that James fake a wedding with his fiancé, right?" Jessie nodded huffily. "Well, instead, he could fake a wedding with you! You'd be willing to fake a wedding, right?"  
  
Jessie gave her a look. "I guess…"  
  
"Right. Now, after you two got "married", you could run off with James' inheritance." Acacia held out her arms. "Whaddya think?"  
  
Jessie and James looked at each other and pondered the idea of marrying each other… even if it was just for fakes. Neither of them really minded; they were best friends, after all, but… it was just so weird.   
  
James shrugged. "I'll do it if you will, Jessie." he said.   
  
She nodded. "OK." Then she looked at Acacia. "It's just for pretend, right? I don't really have to marry him?"  
  
"That's right. But, uh, one condition." Acacia grinned.  
  
"What?" Jessie and James said at the same time.  
  
"I get to come with you."  
  
"OK." James shrugged.  
  
~*~  
  
Acacia said, "OK, now Jessie, do you know how to act like Jessiebelle?" When Jessie shook her head, she said, "OK. Give me a Southern accent."  
  
Jessie thought for a minute, then said in an almost perfect impression of Jessiebelle, "How y'all doin'?"  
  
"That's great!" James exclaimed. "You sound just like her!"  
  
"Good, good," Acacia said. "Now, do you have any idea hou to use manners?"  
  
"Of course I do!" Jessie said indignantly.  
  
"Now, you understand," Acacia said, "That you've gotta call James' pet names."  
  
"Like what?" Jessie asked.  
  
"I dunno." Acacia said. "I can't remember all that stuff…"  
  
"Hey!" James piped up. "How do you know about Jessiebelle and all that?"  
  
"I've been following you and Jessie for a long time." Acacia said, as if it were no big deal.  
  
"Spying on us?" Jessie said.  
  
"Not exactly. Anyhow ask James about the name thing. I'll do your hair. Oh, and we need to get you guys some new clothes from Mondo."   
  
"You know about Mondo?" James asked.  
  
"Yeah. Boy, I wish I had a Mondo." Acacia said. "Can you get me a chair?"  
  
"Sure." James reached behind his back and pulled out a wooden chair. "There you go."  
  
"OK. Jessie, sit." Acacia ordered.  
  
"Don't talk to me like I'm a Growlithe." Jessie complained as she sat. "Tell me what to call you, James." She said as Acacia tried to brush all the hairspray out of her hair.  
  
"Um… uh, um… do I have to?" James stuttered. He would feel kind of odd having Jessie call him the things Jessiebelle used to call him...  
  
"If you want to pull off a believable performance." Acacia replied. She had finished brushing Jessie's hair and was now trying to get it in those little curly things like Jessiebelle has.  
  
James sighed heavily. "Oh… OK. She calls me…" he winced, "dumb things like 'James dear' and 'James my sweet'. You don't have to call me that if you want to…"  
  
"It's all right." Jessie said, stifling a laugh.  
  
"There you go!" Acacia said. Jessie looked more like Jessiebelle now than she did before. James' eyes widened.  
  
"Oooo." He said. "That's… a really good job."  
  
"Thank you. Did you get some clothes from Mondo?"   
  
"Yeah." James pulled out a suit for himself and a dress for Jessie from behind his back. He handed the dress to her. "Here."  
  
Jessie took the dress, examined it, wrinkled her lip, and said, "I have to wear this thing?"  
  
"Yes, you do." Acacia said. "Jessiebelle, refined young lady that she is, would not show up at her fiancé's house in a Team Rocket uniform."  
  
Jessie sighed, "OK. Where do I change?" She noticed that, somehow, James had already changed into his suit. He gestured toward a changing screen that he had gotten from Mondo. Jessie went behind it and came out looking exactly like Jessiebelle.  
  
"Wow." James said in awe.  
  
"You think you have everything down?" Acacia asked. Jessie nodded hesitantly. "Then let's go!" So they headed off.  
  
~*~  
  
When James knocked, Hopkins answered the door. "Master James?" he said in surprise. "And Jessiebelle!" He exclaimed.  
  
"Hello Hopkins," Jessie drawled.   
  
Hopkins smiled and nodded. Then he turned to Acacia. "Who are you?"  
  
"Acacia, I'm Master James and Mistress Jessiebelle's personal servant," Acacia answered, keeping her head low.  
  
"Ah. Well then, come in, Master James." Hopkins said. "I shall send for your parents."  
  
As they waited, Acacia said, "Do you think your parents will buy your story?" James shrugged.  
  
Just then, James' father came into the room. "James! You've come home! And you've brought Jessiebelle! What brings you two here? Have you decided to fulfill your duties?"  
  
"Yes, father." James said.  
  
"Excellent! We'll begin the preparations for the wedding at once! I'll tell your mother…" he trailed off as his eyes landed on Acacia. "And you are…"  
  
"This is Acacia." Jessie(belle) said. "She's our servant."  
  
"Oh. Jolly good. I'll be right back, James." James' father said.  
He left. "He fell for it!" Jessie said excitedly, in her real voice.  
  
"Yeah." Acacia said. "But we gotta keep this act up!"  
  
"Oh, James. I'm so happy that you've accepted your responsibilities!" James' mother, who had come in. "I'm so thrilled for us, uh, you!" She hugged him.  
  
"Uh, thanks." he said, not returning the hug.  
  
"Hopkins has begun the preparations! You'll be a refined married gentleman before the day is done." James father said. "Now we must get you and Jessiebelle ready."  
  
"Who are you?" James' mother asked, just now noticing Acacia.  
  
"That's our servant, Acacia." James said.  
  
"Oh, good. You can help with Jessiebelle." James' mother said.   
She grabbed Jessie and Acacia and hauled them up to a room.  
  
"Do you have your dress, my dear?" James' mother asked.  
  
Jessie shot Acacia a worried look and said, "Uh… no, mother."   
  
"Oh, dear." James' mother said. "We'll just have to get another one." She looked at Acacia. "Go get a dress for Jessiebelle. They're in that small room, down the hall and to your left."  
  
Acacia bowed and ran out of the room. She found the room and began to look.  
  
Meanwhile, in James' room, James' father was explaining the ceremony to him. While he was doing so, he picked out a blue tuxedo for him. "Put this on." and blah, blah, blah, about the wedding.  
  
James changed and looked at himself in the mirror. He didn't like the way he looked in a tux. He made a face.  
  
"A gentleman doesn't make faces." his father scolded. "Do you understand the proceedings for the wedding?" James, who hadn't really been listening, nodded. "Good. Let's go then."  
  
He dragged, James downstairs.  
  
In Jessie's room, Acacia had found a big white dress and Jessie had changed into it. James' mother had explained the wedding to her because "Jessiebelle" had "forgotten", being gone so long.  
  
Now they were downstairs, waiting for the ceremony to start. Acacia noticed that Jessie looked nervous. "Why do you look so nervous?" she asked. "It's not, like it's for real."  
  
"So what?" Jessie said. "I'm still going to have to say 'I do'. And there's going to be a ring and everything's going to be official! How exactly am I going to fake this?"  
  
"Cross your fingers when you say 'I do' or something." Acacia replied. Then she grinned and said, "Are you really gonna kiss?"  
  
"I don't see any way around it." Jessie replied with a slight blush. "So I suppose so." Acacia nodded.  
  
Just then, James' mother came in and said, "It's time!"  
  
So there went Jessie, in her wedding dress, off to "marry" James.  
  
~*~  
  
"I now pronounce you man and wife." the preacher finished. "You may kiss the bride."  
  
Jessie and James looked at each other and hesitantly kissed each other on the lips. They separated a second later than they should have for a fake kiss. Acacia caught that and smiled.  
  
It was a pip of a reception. Everything was fancy and decorated in the tradition of rich families. Congratulations filled the air.   
When she could get a minute, Acacia pulled Jessie and James aside to talk to them.  
  
"Good show, you two. Very convincing. Now," she rubbed her together, "when do you get your money?"  
  
"I don't know." James said. "Give me time to get used to being married."   
  
Acacia rolled her eyes. "You're not really married. If you're that worried about it, I'll divorce you two."  
  
"No, that's OK." Jessie said. "Actually, this is kind of cool."   
James and Acacia both looked at her. James' eyes were big and Acacia had one eyebrow raised and a hint of a smile on her face.  
  
"All right, then." she said. "You want to stay married?"  
  
"I'm not really married, remember?" Jessie said.  
  
Acacia grinned and held her hands up in a surrender gesture. "OK, OK. But do you," she pointed at James, "wanna stay 'hitched'?"  
  
James shrugged. "Yeah, I guess…"  
  
"OK, then. You two better get back to the party. They'll miss you." Acacia said, shooing them back to the reception.  
  
An hour later, all the guests (friends of James' parents) had left and it was just Jessie, James, James' parents, and the servant.  
  
"Well, James," James' father said, "when are you going to go on your, um," he cleared his throat, "honeymoon?"  
  
Jessie nudged James with her elbow (he had been in a bit of a daze) and he said stupidly, "Wha? Honeymoon?"  
  
"Yes, don't forget your obligation to the family line…" James' father winked subtly at him.  
  
"Oh…" James' face lit up red as he realized what his father meant. "Um, yeah. Well, um…" Suddenly he had an uncharacteristic burst of smartness. "We'll need some money to go!"  
  
"Of course," his mother said, "Take as much as you need." James grinned at Jessie. She pulled off a Jessiebelle-like smile and squeezed his arm.  
  
"And it might be a good idea," James continued, looking back at his parents, "to take our servant along."  
  
"Oh, Acacia…" his father said, "But whatever for?"  
  
"Daddy, when you were on your honeymoon, did you want to do anything for yourself? Or did you want personal time?" James asked.  
  
"Oh, yes, quite right. Where will you be going?"  
  
"Uh… we may just set out and… stop where we will." James said.  
"All right." James' mother said. James' mother and father gave him and Jessie most of his inheritance and a nice big car/jeep to drive. Jessie, James, and Acacia set off.  
  
~*~  
  
"I can't believe it worked!" Jessie exclaimed once they were on their way. "Acacia, get up here so I can go back there and change out of this horrid dress!" Jessie got in the back seat to change and Acacia hopped up in the passenger seat.  
  
"Told you it would work." she said smugly to James. She cracked her knuckles and put her hands behind her head.  
  
"Yeah. Now I have my inheritance and we can to back to Team Rocket."  
  
"Not just yet!" Jessie said, hopping up beside Acacia. Instead of her Rocket uniform, she wore blue jeans and a red shirt. "We're rich, James! Let's have some fun with our money! We can do anything we want! Go anywhere we want!"  
  
James smiled. Now that they had done something right for a change, Jessie would be in a good mood. And that meant that she wouldn't hit him. "Right."  
  
Acacia got back in the back seat. Suddenly, James said, "Acacia, get up here and drive. I have to change." So Acacia and James traded spots. James changed into jeans and a blue t-shirt. Then he began to drive again. "Where do you wanna go?" he asked, obviously speaking directly to Jessie.  
  
"I don't know." Jessie said, "crossing her legs and kicking back.   
  
"Let's just drive and see where we are when we run out of gas." She eyed the gas meter. The hand was on F.  
  
"OK." James shrugged and grinned. "Let's got for it!" He punched the gas and they sped off.  
  
~*~  
  
Stupid. I know. JessicaVance@lovelornpoet.com Oh, and I'm thinking there *will* be a sequel to this, once I get some ideas for it. ::sidles away::  



End file.
